I wonder why I'm so self destructive... why I hurt myself both emosionally and physically. A lot has happened scince my last post. As is my way, I fell flat of my face for a pale beauty. I messd up some how. Hit a very low place in my life because of jelousy, which probably pushed her away. She's with someone else.
On other notes, not really happier thought, I turned 21. Woo. Went to The Pheonix Hill Tavern in Lousville and got F.U.B.A.R. For thoughs of you who don't know, that's Fucked Up Beyond All Reason. Don't remember the ride home, which lasted an hour... and I passed out the moment I hit my bed.
I have gotten high... and probably won't again cuz I was very depressed at the time and drunk. Being down, drinking depressants, and doing a stimulant sucks.
That's most of it and all I want to say....